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Compassion fatigue
Hi all,
My name is Erika Perez, I am a master class graduate from 2020. I love everything “dog” but shelter work is my passion. I can always “keep it together “ while I work, but compassion fatigue really gets to me from time to time. I know, self-care is important and should go a long way toward managing compassion fatigue, but it doesn’t always ..
I have done some work with dogfighting survivors, and plan to do more, so I must find the way to maintain my emotional balance.
Does any one of you have any advice? All thoughts, ideas are welcome.
Thank you!❤️
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10 Replies
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Hi Erika
Oh wow is this an important topic. Thanks for your vulnerability, bringing it to our community.
I have the perspective of having “crashed and burned” while doing shelter work. I did not practice self-care in those days, and all the triggers loaded up very tall and a few traumatic events in a row then ended my sheltering career. For a while, I had to give up working with dogs, after a lifetime of doing so. I’ll share more details one day.
What I’m learning is that self-care simply cannot be ignored, whether we are in sheltering or not! Especially while we are still reeling from the world-wide events of the past 2 years. In order to “show up” for our pets, our people, and the clients we serve, we must take care of our selves and restore our energy.
Here are some things I’m doing:
????Daily hikes
????♀️Meditation
????Music
????♀️ Play
????Lots and lots of “face- to -face” (zoom) meetings with people I trust.
And I’ve planned a vacation! ????
I think the #1 tip I have is SCHEDULE IT and keep it sacred. If you don’t care for yourself, it’s impossible to sustain caring for others.
What other ideas does everyone have?
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Hi Erika, @erika
What amazing work you do!! I can’t imagine the toll that can take on you! I think when giving so much of ourselves, we always have to remember to refill our cup. I only work in a doggie daycare but still come home and tend to my household and own dogs and I can tell when I am not filling my cup!
I always enjoyed reading, so sometimes I make myself sit down with a good book in the evening.. when the weather is nice I love getting in nature and taking a good hike and watching my dogs explore nature….I was really into yoga at one time and I hope to do that again! What a great topic, I think so many of us forget to take down time and connect with ourselves! Can’t wait to hear what everyone else suggests! Keep up the amazing work you do!
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I always enjoyed reading, so sometimes I make myself sit down with a good book in the evening.. when the weather is nice I love getting in nature and taking a good hike and watching my dogs explore nature….I was really into yoga at one time and I hope to do that again! – Krista C.
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Great question @Erika
Amazing response by @Catherine (no surprise there!)My small bit of wisdom to add to this conversation is to drop expectations for things you can’t control and celebrate the small successes you see around you each day. I have no doubt that what you contribute to your shelter and the lives of the dogs there makes a difference in their day, every day you are there.
You know that you can’t just wave a magic wand and take all the stress out of things that are always happening in the shelter world. No one can, no matter how much they care. But, anytime you see that you are enriching the life of a dog (or a co-worker!) you are giving them a cherished moment of joy or peace AND something to build on from that moment forward. THAT makes a difference, and it’s something you should take some pride and joy in, every time that you can. ????????????
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My small bit of wisdom to add to this conversation is to drop expectations for things you can’t control and celebrate the small successes you see around you each day. – David M.
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Hi Erika,
At the risk of sounding trite – I understand what you are going through. I’ve been a shelter volunteer for over 15 years. I haven’t worked with fighting dogs but I have seen all kinds of other ugliness. One shelter was so bad that a few of us managed to get it shut down (a very long story). When I filed a police report about the conditions, I got sued for defamation for my troubles by the operator. I won the case, but it took a full year to resolve, and the risk of being financially wiped out just because you do the right thing is stressful in ways I could never imagine. (I strongly recommend having umbrella policies in addition to your home/car insurance and also professional liability coverage for anyone actively training dogs).
You bring up very important questions about animal care and how to balance that with self-care. All of Catherine’s suggestions are solid. The vacation thing is very important because it FORCES us to disconnect – i.e. you can’t be at the shelter and at the lake at the same time. And vacations can be short getaways too. They don’t need to be long, extravagant, or expensive.
I also like recreational reading (other than about dogs and training), yoga, and martial arts (sometimes it’s good to hit something in a place where it’s encouraged).
Also, try something new that requires focus and concentration – a new activity, musical instrument, new language, or a new skill. A training colleague decided she was going to start woodworking out of the blue – turns out she’s good at it and it makes her happy.
Those things really help me disengage from the “monkey brain” I get when I think too long. A friend once told me that being alone with my random thoughts was like being in a bad neighborhood.
One of the caregiver misconceptions is “if only we could do more.” I’m doing what I am able to do – and I bet you are too. Getting overextended or overwhelmed helps neither the dogs nor us. Hope this helps.
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I also like recreational reading (other than about dogs and training), yoga, and martial arts (sometimes it’s good to hit something in a place where it’s encouraged).
Also, try something new that requires focus and concentration – a new activity, musical instrument, new language, or a new skill. – Christopher R.
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What a great discussion @Erika ! As someone who has spent years in the shelter industry and experienced compassion fatigue myself, I know how important it is to truly address this topic.
There are a few things I always found to be particularly helpful myself, when I felt the fatigue building at times. First, like you said and others said, self care! Be sure to take care of yourself – eat as best you can, hydrate, sleep as best you can. But the biggest part of this is taking a step back and taking time for yourself. If you are putting in a lot of overtime, as is often the case with shelter workers, go home as close to on time as you can. Maintain that “healthy work-life balance” as best you can. This is all sooo much easier said than done, but oh so very important in addressing compassion fatigue.
Another thing to do – focus on the positives that come from each day, like others had mentioned. The low moments, the overwhelmingly awful moments, can tend to overshadow the good that is accomplished each and every day in your time at the shelter. When you feel as though everyone and everything is the worst, remind yourself of that happy family walking out with their newest addition, that dog going for a nice walk or spending some time training/working b-mod and learning new things, that play group where two dogs became the best of friends.
Even when we can’t save them all – in dog fighting cases, hoarding situations, meat farm dogs, etc where certain dogs just can never enjoy a desirable quality of life and euthanasia is the best outcome, I always tried to remind myself that I did all that I could to give that dog the best chance at a good life, and that in this outcome, there would be no more suffering for them. It never felt like enough, but I knew they at least had that peace now.-
@nicole – you put so many great nuggets here, I can’t decide which to quote!
Be sure to take care of yourself – eat as best you can, hydrate, sleep as best you can. But the biggest part of this is taking a step back and taking time for yourself. If you are putting in a lot of overtime, as is often the case with shelter workers, go home as close to on time as you can.
This is so good – yes, go home on time!
And everything you said in your last paragraph. Thank you for sharing your heart and experience. I wish I had had your wisdom many years ago; maybe I would have lasted longer in sheltering. ????
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@Erika hello and welcome! I think that you are one of the true heroes in our profession. You show up day after day to deal with very difficult and often sad situations and you make a difference. My hat is off to you!!
Self care is an important part of our health and wellbeing. I’m so glad that its now becoming more recognized as such.
Personally, I try to find a few minutes each and every day to do something that fills me up. Reading a book, taking a walk, a bubble bath. I think the most important thing to remember is to not feel guilty about taking the time for yourself.
I’m so excited about the unique perspective you bring to this group and the things you’ll share that we can all learn from.
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