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Dog hates wife
Hi! I have a case involving a 11 month old golden who hates the owners wife. He has bit her 4 times. He refuses to do anything for her. For example today I had the dog on a leash and advised the wife to tell him to sit. He growled at her. Even if she has a high value treat he refuses. Growls and continuously gets more aggressive.
I have had the husband hold the leash and the wife have him sit and stay and wait for his food. Trying to get him to realize all good things come from the wife.
He listens to me just fine. I’ve taught him “sit, down, wait, leave it, etc and he does it without question. He will do it for the husband but the moment the wife does anything he growls and refuses. I’m open to any and all advice. She’s now afraid of him which has exacerbated the situation.
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22 Replies
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I find myself asking alot of questions like;
1. How long did they have this dog? At what age did they get him?
2. When did the behavior first start?( lots of details!!) Was the wife ever able to handle him? ( what if anything changed) Was there ever a negative event that could of occurred, for example she yelled or hit him, even tripping over him accidentally, causing him pain or discomfort etc.?
3. Besides you, how is he with other females?
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He was purchased from a breeder. Same breeder they purchased a different dog previously who died. They’ve had him since he was 10 weeks old. First time he showed aggression was at 4 months. He was laying down on the floor and she reached over him and handed a book to her husband. She thinks he got startled and went after her. Another incident was in the truck and she went to move the leash which was around his leg. Other incidents were her trying to get him do something.
Both deny anything even accidentally that occurred that changed.
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Forgot last question. Seems fine with everyone but the wife.
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@jenz is asking all the right questions! Thanks, @sandyt for getting us these answers. I have a few more…
Who normally feeds the dog? What is the wife’s “normal” interaction with him? When the dog does something he’s not supposed to do, what happens? When the dog has growled at the wife in the past, how does she respond? Has he ever growled at the husband? What happened?
Additionally, I’ve found that usually, by the time the dog starts growling, there are a bunch of other stress signals the owners have missed. Did you observe any subtle body language signals that show stress? It may be worthwhile to share some easy online educational videos with them to help them learn to see what the dog may be signaling in other contexts.
Here’s one option – an oldie but a goodie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00_9JPltXHI
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The husband used to always feed him, however I’ve changed that. I have the husband have him on a leash. Wife tells him to wait and she puts his food in his dish and tells him “okay”.
He’s growled at the husband once because he was resource guarding a blanket. But the husband traded the blanket with a high value treat. The husband has admitted to “popping” him on the nose when he growls at the wife. She doesn’t do anything she just walks away.
At the training session yesterday, I had her use his favorite treat “corn beef” and tell him to sit, down and wait. He growled and bared his teeth every time. He never did do the commands for her. But then I would tell him and he would do it without question.
I really don’t think it’s fear based aggression because I’ve seen the interactions. The wife is petite, soft spoken vs the husband whose stocky with a deep voice. He’s glued to the husband.
I’m going to refer them to a veterinarian behaviorist. I’m just worried they won’t do it and they will put him down instead.
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@sandyt I commend your professionalism and agree that a consultation with a veterinary behaviorist is needed here. This is going to be a complex case and you have done much discovery for them, but fixing this issue before it escalates will be best done after an in-depth behavior consultation and diagnosis from a veterinary behaviorist. If they are unable/unwilling to go that route, you can ask them to consult with a certified dog behavior consultant through IAABC. In other words, it’s smart to know your professional boundaries and stay within them. If they do choose to work with another professional, you can ask to shadow/audit the consultation as a learning experience. I’ve found behaviorists to be very accommodating in that regard. And often, you may be asked to provide follow up training support once a diagnosis and behavior modification plan has been agreed upon. It works out as a win-win. Please do keep us posted about this case. Crossing my fingers for the best for all involved!
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The resource guarding event adds more info to consider in my opinion.
If they are able to safely get video, without purposely making the behavior happen or, adding stress ,that can help the VB or BC.
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Yes, @sandyt ,thanks for providing more info!
In addition to what @programdev mentions, I would also be looking deeper into her body mechanics and things like is she wearing perfume, jewelry etc? Is it possible something about her persons is aversive to him?
IF, I were to take their answers as true and transparent that “nothing” happened then, going on the info provided by them, that she reached over him at 4 months, I could possibly think that specific event during the tail end of his critical social period may have been enough for him to form a lasting negative association with her. Then, add in the subsequent negative associations he’s had with her- that could explain what I would assume to be a fear-based reaction.
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Update:
They have contacted a behaviorist however they are about six months booked out. I am staying in the mix to help manage the issues until they can get in. I’ve changed the plan to the wife only interaction with Romeo is to toss treats to him randomly throughout the day. So far no more growling. I know it isn’t a long term solution but it’s at least management for now. Any other suggestions?
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Six months out? Holy Cow there is a critical need for more of this support for owners – thank you for staying involved and giving the assistance you can!
Perhaps taking some of the social pressure off of the dog will relieve some of the stress that might be causing the growling? How long has it been since the owners instituted your new suggestion?
While random reinforcement like this is often helpful, I’ve found that playing Treat & Retreat as a formal pattern game can help with predictability and strengthen a dog’s confidence about interacting with a person they are fearful of.
We discussed this and some other tactics for helping fearful dogs in another conversation about a Skittish Street Dog.
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Thank you so much for the suggestions! They’ve been doing the random treat giving by wife for 5 days so far and no growling. I see them again soon and I’ll try and implement treat & retreat!
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So glad you are on the case to support them, @sandyt . Thanks for keeping us in the loop, too. Since the VB is booked so far out, perhaps a certified dog behavior counselor could see them sooner? There are many who also work remotely and can see clients sooner. Try searching through the IAABC to see if one pops up? Or do a web search in your area and look for CCBC or CDBC. Just another idea if you feel some next-level support could help these folks.
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Kudos, @SandyT. This sounds like a very difficult case. I wonder, have you seen any clues in the wife’s body movements or in her own body language that are causing the dog to growl? Maybe that’s an odd thing to think about. Just a thought. Sometimes videoing random interactions between dogs and both owners can help determine which human movements are soothing and which freak the dogs out or make him feel unsafe.
I think the treat and retreat sounds excellent! I even love the random treats on floor from wife. Good ideas.
Another thought, I wonder if, since the dog has bonded so heavily with the husband, if the dog views him as a type of resource that he’s, in effect, guarding? That may be a completely ludicrous idea. Just wonder if this has ever happened, and maybe it’s not anything the wife is doing or not doing, other than sometimes competing for the resource (ie. Hubby/owner).
Good luck with thiss family and so glad you are helping this couple and their dog!!!
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@bernerlabreclectus Paula – the resource guarding of the husband is an interesting possibility… @sandyt – it would be good to ask about the wife’s proximity to the husband when the growling occurs.
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Hi all I’ve seen him growl when she tells him to sit and I have him on a leash. Unfortunately Romeo bit the wife again. I’m at a loss. I wasn’t there when this happened. Sounds like she was trying to take him out to go potty. The behaviorist is six months out and I think they ultimately might euthanize him. I feel like I failed
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Hi Sandra, I am so sorry you are going through this; it’s so hard when we give our best and it feels like it’s not enough. But, please know that though it feels that way, this situation is NOT YOUR FAULT. There are so many factors we cannot control in this helping profession, and when there are unwanted behaviors with unwanted outcomes, it’s tragic but not ever the fault of just one person. There is so much that we don’t know about this dog and this case; so much we’ll never know about what brought this dog to that particular choice. The truth is, even when we have more information, and a behaviorist on board, and all the medications and behavior fixes in place… we are not able to “save them all.” It’s just a fact.
Please don’t blame yourself for this dog’s choice and this family’s choice, if it comes to that.
Aside, I’m wondering why the wife is interacting with the dog so much when the dog clearly doesn’t like her… I feel like there’s a big piece of the puzzle missing here.
Please take care of yourself.
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What a sad case. Did they ever think of rehoming the dog to someone that lives on their own? If he was only aggressive towards the wife he probably would have been fine in another home. Some rescues will take problem dogs in and asses them to see if they can be rehomed or if there really isn’t another option. Also I wonder if the owners yell at each other often, the wife maybe starting the arguments so the dog views her as a threat to the husband who he grew attached to.
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Hi
No they haven’t considered rehoming him. I could be wrong but I don’t see them arguing loudly. I think romeo (dog) is super attached to the husband and resource guards him. However, new development is we think he is blind or almost blind in his left eye. Waiting for confirmation with vet.
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I’m glad they’re still working with him and not euthanizing! Hopefully everything goes well at the vets and something will be figured out to help him 🙂
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Oh wow – this is a big deal! If he has sight issues that could explain the “out of the blue” bites – nobody likes being surprised/scared.
Recently I was reading about “oxytocin aggression” – that some dogs, in a deep bond with a human or another dog – will react aggressively to anyone/thing that threatens that bond. It’s a type of resource guarding that we may see displayed in a case like this. That may not help figure out how to solve it, but may help us explain why it’s happening. Couple that with vision issues and it makes sense.
Please keep us posted, @sandyt
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Thanks for mentioning this, @programdev . I’m now going down the rabbit hole to find out more about this topic. So interesting.
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Isn’t it!? It makes total sense… and it’s nice to be able to label what I know I’ve seen but had no label for, previously. Still – it’s a tricky situation for sure.
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