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Two Adult Intact Males Sharing Spaces – Brainstorm!
What’s your top tip for blending families when each one has an intact adult large breed dog who is “dog tolerant” but not “dog social?”
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11 Replies
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Awesome topic — can’t wait to see what tips folks share.
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Me too… where are all our behavior peeps!?
@jenz @abbie @bmacwatt @doggonespecial @pawsup @bernerlabreclectus @LisaOMy @tondabenge
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What beautiful boys!!! ( I just love labs…)
Thanks for including me in this conversation by the tag! I’m not sure because you said the older male is “intact”. I usually get older male dogs here in Chicago suburbia who are neutered by the time they are 2, because the owner wants to do dog parks and daycare.
I’ve heard of the parallel walking being awesome in helping two dogs (regardless of sex and intactness) acclimate slowly to each other. But I have not done it myself.
Very interested here on this topic though…lately I have had to turn a couple clients away and provide recommendations to other trainers, because I do not feel comfortable facilitating dog reactive adult dogs with forming playful relationships with particular other adult or adolescent dogs, whom the owner feels they need to be friends with.
I will say that personally I respect the dog in front of me and their preferences to mingle or not. I would never adopt another dog without seeing if he or she was a good fit with my original dog. So, it’s often difficult to explain that dogs have preferences too! After all, did your parents ever decide who you would be friends with or did they tell you at a family reunion gathering that Aunt So-and-so had a son about your age and would be happy playing together??? That never worked for me. I am compassionate and passionate about this!
I think my family was lucky with pairings between my mom’s dog and my beagle puppy. They were instant friends. My Berner male positively LOVED our foster fail yellow Lab girl. She was already 5 years old and he was slightly over 1 years old.
I’ll keep thinking! I think often times with dogs in general, giving them agency to choose a friend goes a long way. Not enough can be said about this. I really wish people let the dogs choose each other.
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Sidebar: I’m not sure why I read that initial question as a MALE centered question. Oops!
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The boys in the video are, >ahem< pretty obviously boys. The black one is a Cane Corso. The chocolate is a Lab. They belong to a friend I’m helping.
Today I reminded her that since the boys don’t live together, every time they get together is another first meeting… good relationships take a lot of time. And you are so right, Paula, the resident/senior dog should always be given a choice….. but it’s a challenge when the hoomans are in love and wanting to bring the boys into the same house!
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Assuming neither dog has barrier aggression, maybe the concept of a “gated community” would work well for slow intros, too. Give each dog especially the one who is dog tolerant their own safe space for retreat. Sometimes, good fences make good neighbors
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Excellent tip here. I think so many folks just assume the dogs need to both be together all the time. Lowering expectations by managing spaces is so much easier.
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@catherine Oh, so true! Any good relationship takes time. Thanks for the reminder. It’s not always an obvious thing to people. ????
Does it make a huge difference if they are unaltered, if there are no females present? Sorry to ask such a stupid question. I know hormones in both would be off the charts likely if an unaltered female was in the mix, but unclear if it is a huge speed bump in socialization protocol compared to neutered males?
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Yes having a female there would be another level of complexity. I’m not sure what you mean with the socialization comment. Are you thinking of a particular situation?
The sex status (altered or intact) isn’t always the determining factor of whether there will be drama, but in my experience, intact males can get more serious with their aggression… more damage, more persistence, than neutered males. For females, it’s the opposite. Spayed females have less estrogen to moderate their testosterone, so spayed girls can be nastier, especially to each other, than they are to boys.
I’m making sweeping generalizations of course. Breed and individual differences matter a lot here too.
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No, I just meant socialization between dogs as trying to get them to accept or be friendly with one another in shared spaces.
I have had a couple recent calls about people wanting their dog to be friendly or make friends with their mother’s dog, for example. It’s not exactly the same thing, as you are mentioning a blended family (meaning people residing under the same roof, I think) in your original topic, but I believe these calls are “temporary recurring instances” when someone extended family member comes to their house with their own dog and apparently the host dog doesn’t like it.
I don’t like working with expectation personally, so I refer them to other R+ trainer locator resources…I am not sure if I’m being dense in my belief that dogs don’t need to be friends with everyone their owner wants them to.
I apologize for getting off-topic. I’ll save it for another thread! ☺️
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I think you are spot on with the idea that “dogs don’t need to be friends with everyone their owner wants them to…”
I always use a roommate analogy for this one. “Imagine having to live with a roommate you couldn’t stand; Imagine not getting to pick your roommate; Imagine getting stuck with a roommate who bullied you all the time; Imagine having to live with someone who was simply mean to you all the time.”
Enter with caution though. I once used a similar analogy only to find out that the family indeed had a young adult relative living with them who had mental illness and did in fact bully them…. ???? It was awkward.
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